I’m feeling more than a little vulnerable tonight. I had to take my mom to the hospital on Monday. While she was admitted, and came out ok; the father of one of my best friends was dismissed from the ER a couple of days ago; he died last night.
I’m struggling with life and death and the unfairness of it all today.
And then I’m back to my needed post for school, digital culture, twitter, and trans lives. So, I’ll say, in the midst of my other grief today, that I’m really pissed off at the language that we, as trans people, have to describe ourselves.
I have a total pet peeve against “born a man” or “born a woman”. People are born as BABIES. Not as fully sexualized men or women. I resent that, every time I hear it. The same people who would deny me my being as an adult, insist on making children sexualized creatures, incapable of understanding their gender or who they are, unless it includes who they want to fuck. (sorry not sorry). I knew I was a boy at three years old – so do a lot of other boys and girls – and that DOES NOT include sexuality. Not yet.
The second half of that is what the twitter author captures below – no matter what we do, it’s never enough and we’re “less than” someone who was lucky enough to be “fully born” correctly.
I’m tired. I’m irritated. I’m grieving.
I’m also sick and tired of trying to explain who I am to people who won’t listen; struggling to make them see me and those like me as fellow human beings. Some days drag (and not in a fun way) a hell of a lot more than others.